As confused as a caterpillar fallen from an Oaktree
Last spring the Oaktree behind our house was infested with caterpillars. There were so many that sometimes the Oaktree looked like it has a furry bark! Yes, these Oaktree caterpillars are kind of cute, and might even make you believe that they may turn into beautiful butterflies, but they turn into a dull brown moth.
Every time the wind blew a bunch of caterpillars fell down everywhere, on the railings of the balcony, on the floor and even on those who happened to be around the Oaktree. Since I had to stop working in the Spring all of a sudden as my work visa was not picked in the lottery, I was home all day almost every day. I was in a funk. I used to watch these caterpillars frantically crawl up and down our balcony railings looking for their Oaktree to climb back on. I could relate to them at some level as I felt the same way. My sole purpose after graduation was to work and earn money to pay off my student debt. It felt like I was running around in circles to find what I could do next. As someone just watching the caterpillars I could see that all they had to do is pause and look and climb up the railings to get back on the Oaktree to go on their business of gorging on more leaves to become a cocoon and then a moth.
It was the same with me, whoever heard my story told me it was a good break that was forced on me to enjoy life, but its just that I could not see it in the confused state of mind I was in. After three months of staying home, hitting the rock bottom and being as stressed and confused as my mind could possibly allow me to be, I decided to start with calming my mind. So I began with my Yoga practice (it may sound cliched but getting out of the house and meeting other helped along with actually doing Yoga). This helped me pause and look and actually see an opportunity to learn more skills, practice a dance form I was always wanted to learn more, and read! I may not have found my Oaktree yet, but at least I have stopped frantically running up and down that would have exhausted and drained me completely.
Every time the wind blew a bunch of caterpillars fell down everywhere, on the railings of the balcony, on the floor and even on those who happened to be around the Oaktree. Since I had to stop working in the Spring all of a sudden as my work visa was not picked in the lottery, I was home all day almost every day. I was in a funk. I used to watch these caterpillars frantically crawl up and down our balcony railings looking for their Oaktree to climb back on. I could relate to them at some level as I felt the same way. My sole purpose after graduation was to work and earn money to pay off my student debt. It felt like I was running around in circles to find what I could do next. As someone just watching the caterpillars I could see that all they had to do is pause and look and climb up the railings to get back on the Oaktree to go on their business of gorging on more leaves to become a cocoon and then a moth.
It was the same with me, whoever heard my story told me it was a good break that was forced on me to enjoy life, but its just that I could not see it in the confused state of mind I was in. After three months of staying home, hitting the rock bottom and being as stressed and confused as my mind could possibly allow me to be, I decided to start with calming my mind. So I began with my Yoga practice (it may sound cliched but getting out of the house and meeting other helped along with actually doing Yoga). This helped me pause and look and actually see an opportunity to learn more skills, practice a dance form I was always wanted to learn more, and read! I may not have found my Oaktree yet, but at least I have stopped frantically running up and down that would have exhausted and drained me completely.
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